I’m sure every parent has felt unappreciated at one time or another, or even all the time for some of us. We want to give our kids what they need (or what we think they need). Sometimes we want to give them the things and experiences that we had as children, or what we didn’t have. Sometimes we give them these things because we think it will make them feel good, and as a result so will we. But can we do this and raise grateful, thankful and appreciative kids at the same time?
It’s pretty safe to say we all want our kids to be grateful along with having a lot of other positive attributes. But what happens when they start taking everything for granted? Or get upset when they don’t get the things they now think they “deserve” such as a new graphic novel or video game?
When I was growing up the word grateful was around (I’m not that old), but it wasn’t a word we used often except when talking about our favorite band The Grateful Dead. Thankful and appreciative were more common although they mean different things.
What’s the Difference Between Being Grateful, Thankful and Appreciative?
More importantly we should understand how they are alike because they’re all intertwined. According to Dictionary.com
Grateful means “warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefit received; thankful.”
Thankful is a “feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative.”
Appreciation is “gratitude; thankful recognition.
What’s In a Word Anyway?
We want our kids to appreciate the things and experiences they have, or are going to have in the future. We also want them to show us, and the world that they’re thankful, grateful and appreciative.
All three of these words will be used interchangeably in this post.
3 Easy Ways to Raise Grateful, Appreciative and Thankful Kids
1. Be Grateful Appreciative and Thankful
Look and listen to yourself when expressing these feelings. We’re our child’s first teacher and hopefully we’ll continue to be throughout our lives. How can we expect our children to feel and verbalize these feelings if we don’t do it ourselves?
None of us are perfect, so whenever you realize that you’ve missed an opportunity to express your gratitude, fix it right then and there if possible. If not, bring it up later.
2. Make it a Daily Habit
Think of instilling gratitude in your children like exercising a muscle. The more you and your kids do it, the easier and more ingrained it will become. This is one of the many ways to raise grateful kids
Try these “exercises” with your family
Create a Grateful, Thankful and Appreciative Jar. Large Mason Jars work really well. Decorate it so it looks fun and inviting. Pick a time each day and have everyone fill out a slip of paper with what they’re grateful, thankful or appreciative for. Tell each other what it says and put it in the jar. Include the date so you can also use it as a “time machine.”
Try going around the table and have everyone say one thing they appreciate about each of the people sitting at the table. Not only does this help instill gratitude it also makes the person on the receiving side feel that they’re appreciated.
It’s nice to feel appreciated isn’t it?
3. Teach Your Children to Thank Those Who Serve
Like everything else this starts with us as parents. Do you ever thank a soldier or someone else in a Military uniform? Next time you see someone in a military uniform walk up to them and thank them for serving and protecting our country.
This also goes for our local heroes such as Policemen and Firemen.
If your kids are older they may know why we should be thankful, but younger kids may need it explained to them. It’s also nice when the heroes hear exactly why they’re appreciated. You could say to a Fireman and Policeman “Thank you for risking your life everyday in order to keep us safe.”
Try extending this practice to people in not so risky jobs . Say thank you to custodians, bus drivers, busboys, mailmen and women and anyone else who serves you and the community in one way or another.
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GAT Kids?
No, that’s not a typo it’s the acronym for Grateful, Appreciative and Thankful. There are of course many different ways to help you raise GAT kids. The three listed above are just a few of my favorites.
Do you ever fall into the trap of telling your kids to say thank you like I do? I think I do it subconsciously because I want the person on the receiving end to think they’re polite. It’s obvious to me that I’m doing this out of selfishness. It doesn’t help them if they have to be prompted. It just helps my ego, so now that I’m aware of this I’m consciously trying not to do it.
When I prod them like this, I’m just teaching them to say a word. I’m not helping them to actually feel it. It’s our jobs as parents and family members to explain to our kids why they should be GAT. And also help them learn by being an example, and other activities that can strengthen their GAT muscles.
If you have any practices or advice how you raise GAT kids please share below.
This is SUCH an important post! I have learned in my own life that when I keep a list of what I’m thankful for, I actively LOOK for those things and think about them. Kudos to you for instilling this in your kids!!!!! Love this post!!